IF CHIVALRY IS DEAD LADIES, I THINK WE HELPED KILL IT

Last night I indulged myself in a guilty pleasure and watched Goodbye Mr Chips; not the sixties musical version with that O'Toole actor I used to think was a hottie, but the 1939 MGM version with suave Robert Donat playing kindly public school master Charles Chipping. If you havent seen it, please do. This sentimental, simply-told story is beautifully acted, very entertaining, and doesn't have one car chase or any computer-generated imagery. In short, it has much of what Hollywood lacks today, but that's the subject of another column.


One of the pivotal scenes is where "Chips" meets his future wife on the side of a mountain, and in the course of their first coversation tells her that she must think him very old-fashioned for thinking ladies shouldn't ride bicycles, and that fifteen MPH is faster than human beings were meant to travel. She replies "I like men to be old-fashioned".

Well done, Greer Garson. So do I.

That may sound a bit strange coming from a woman who grew up in the "women's-lib" generation, but it's absolutely true. Given the choice between a GQ-looking he-man versus a gentleman who will open the door for you, the door-opener gets my vote every time. I know it to be true because my late partner bowled me over not only because he had a great personality and good looks, but he used words like "courting" instead of dating, and ordered for me in restaurants.

I think the Womens Liberation era was a confusing time for both sexes and while I'm glad of it's positives, for instance, I no longer see "Help Wanted - Female" in the classifieds, I wonder what we gave up along the way. In gaining our independence it appears we sacrificed some of the common courtesies that existed between the sexes, those simple things like having a gentleman stand when you arrive in a room or light a cigarette; based on what I've seen from younger women the one "old-fashioned" idea that hasn't been discarded is that men should pay for everything we want. I can't blame men for being confused about their role. Let's face it ladies, men can be easily confused......you can't shout "girl-power" through one side of your face and "treat me like a lady" through the other. That's as bad as watching Britney Spears fighting for child custody five minutes after you've seen her latest bikini ad for Candies. The poor guy will wonder if he's breathing properly by the time we've sorted him out and at the end of the day It Just Doesn't Work.

Before I get beat up too badly, I should say that my views come from the perspective of age and, hopefully some wisdom. Trust me, a man who is secure in his masculinity will know you're a strong woman so there's no need to shout about it. Likewise, a woman secure in her femininity will appreciate the respect, admiration and courtesy shown by an "old-fashioned" man and not mistake it for condescension. I know I do.

Damn you, Robert Donat, I'm going to get a lot of bad mail over this one.