HAPPY HOLIDAYS, LOVE, THE I.R.S.

Bang on November 1, it started; strange noises emanating from the television set sounding suspiciously like Christmas music. At first I thought I was imagining things because I had just tucked into a piece of leftover Halloween candy, but on setting down the dust rag and taking a peek at the set, there it was, a major retailer reminding me that Christmas is the season for buying.....oops, I meant giving. That's right, Christmas advertising (or "pre-Christmas gift-sellers", if you want to sound like a pro) has already crept its way into our lives.

Now, I really do enjoy the holiday season, but every year it gets longer and longer. I thought it was bad when the selling started after barely digesting Thanksgiving dinner, but now we don't even have time to finish off the pumpkin-shaped marshmallow Peeps none of the kids wanted on October 31. I'm beginning to believe that, in the course of my lifetime, the Christmas season will begin shortly after my birthday in August; it's only a matter of time. Nevertheless, we're stuck with the bombardment of ads until the January "white sales" come around and we will be encouraged to spend even more money we don't have.

On the plus side of this extended holiday season, I got an early Christmas present in the shape of an envelope from the Internal Revenue Service. In as nice a tone as possible, and with as much warmth as the Government could muster, they informed me it's possible I'd made a minor mistake on my '07 tax return, and could they please have the additional $476 I owe them by December 24, thank-you-very-much. I was prepared to meet this governmental onslaught with all the courage and conviction that a woman about to lose $476 could, until I realized that they were right. I had made an error on my '07 tax return, and it was not a minor one. In fact, it was so glaringly obvious I expect to be investigated for tax fraud in the near future.

What surprised me though was just how darned nice the I.R.S. was about the matter. The tone of the notice was almost, dare I say, pleasant. Over the six-page document they explained why I was receiving the notice, what steps I needed to take, what would happen if I didn't respond in a timely manner, and what my payment and dispute options were. They supplied me with the exact information I needed to determine where I was at fault on my original filing, and even told me I may qualify for a discount on the $476 owed based on the information supplied by my financial institution. Christmas came to Huggins House because the information handed me was so thorough that even Donner or Blitzen could have understood it. The parting gift was the name of an actual human being assigned to my case; I did call with a question, and the lady was extremely nice and helpful. She even told me how to save an unnecessary $105 fee by filing paperwork different from what I was planning to file. Happy Holidays, indeed.

So, with holiday-cheerful resignation, I'll pay the taxes owed, but as tempted as I am I don't think I'll be smug and send it to them in a Christmas card to meet their December 24 deadline. In what I can only assume is their best holiday spirit they've been nice this time, but if I irritate them and they discover I've made the same error on my '08 return that exchange may well turn into a July 4 fireworks display.