PLASTIC SURGERY? NO THANK YOU, I'D RATHER BUY DVD'S

This Sunday, August 9, I turn 29 years old yet again (real age known only to close relatives, the Division of Motor Vehicles and the Passport Office), and Mom called earlier in the week to invite me to a slap-up meal to celebrate. In the course of the phone call, Mom did what she does often these days, and asked me to "ask your computer a question". My computer answered questions about Vitamin A and the nutritional properties of tomatoes, but the intersting question was about a procedure she'd seen on television called Lifestyle Lift, or a one-hour facelift (Bad Sign #1) supposed to be able to take years off your face, or some such nonsense. Their official website didn't give me much information about the procedures available (Bad Sign #2), but after reading Mom some of the negative information from unhappy patients, she decided it wasn't for her.

While there was no connection between my 29th birthday yet again and the facial plastic surgery question, when I came home that evening I did begin to scrutinize every pore on my face and wonder if at my age I needed some "work" done. Surprisingly, I was fairly happy with what I saw in the mirror. For a woman my age who doesn't take particularly good care of herself, my only complaint is some lines on my forehead and some modest crow's feet around the eyes, and I justified all of them by saying "well, at least I got them by laughing!" Done. There's $6,000-$7,000 that won't be leaving my bank account.

Now, there's nothing wrong with plastic surgery. To be honest, if I had a spare $100 large in the bank and nothing else to do I have no doubt I would get the old forehead ironed out in a jiffy. I can even see instances where cosmetic plastic surgery is necessary, say, as an adjunctive therapy for depression, or if you were presenting a morning show on television, or worse than that, you're the wife of a plastic surgeon. But for other people in general, and me in particular I ask, what's the point?

These days, I'm happiest at home. After working two jobs, having a social life and running errands, it's a great feeling to come to Huggins House and close the door on the rest of the world. So instead of Plastic Surgery, (something for others to look at and enjoy), I'd buy "stuff " (something for me to look at and enjoy).

Topping the "stuff" v Plastic Surgery shopping list at the moment are:

• a flooring contractor to re-finish my beautiful but worn wood floors
• new kitchen appliances, just in case I decide to cook something
• new verticle blinds throughout
• a custom-tailored, double-breasted black pinstripe suit with slacks AND skirt
• a high-limit credit account at Play.com, one of the UK's leading retailer of DVD's
  

and the ultimate purchase,

• a large, flat screen, wall-mounted HD television with region free DVD player and home theatre stereo ***
  

Who knows? In five years time I may opt for the surgery, but I'd rather like to think I'm still happy with life and the way I've aged and instead, enjoy my quiet time at home and play another DVD on my big-screen.


(***List not intended as a solicitation for birthday presents, but if you're interested in making a purchase for me, I'll give you my home address.)