WHAT A DRAG.....

There’s nothing like partial unemployment to give you a massive inferiority complex. In one fell swoop you’re plucked out of a position of relative comfort and personal security within an organization and turned into one of “the great unwashed”, just one more victim of the economic slowdown from which only the perpetrators (read: banks and other lending institutions) will survive, albeit with the generous help of Our Government. Still, as I said in last week’s column having seen this coming, I’m better off than most but no amount of planning could save me from that most dreaded of confidence-destroying experiences, the job interview.

Resume-wise, I read fairly well, with solid executive-level support skills and a good working knowledge of the computer programs currently in demand. I read so well in fact that I’ve already had four interviews in the past two weeks, and I’m told that’s no mean feat in today’s job market. While two of the interviews didn’t work out (one did offer me a future position in another department, which I still take as a “win”), with a glut of applicants, the other two potential employers are taking their time, and as of yesterday they have both indicated a decision would be made by the end of this week.

That may seem like promising news, but to me it’s meant seven days of crippling self-doubt. Sure, I interview well, but did I present myself appropriately? Am I the physical type the employer envisaged for this position? Should I have worn another suit? Was my hair a floppy mess by the time I made it to the meeting? Was my make-up applied correctly? Don’t laugh, Gentlemen, these things really do cross the minds of female applicants, and I know from my own supervisor’s hiring practices, appearance can play an important part in the hiring decision, regardless of the experience of the applicant.

Perhaps fueling my insecurity is the fact that, with spare time a-plenty, I’ve become addicted to the reality program, RuPaul’s Drag Race, (on cable channel LOGO) an honest-to-goodness “must see” program wherein 12 drag queens compete in challenges and beauty and style competitions to discover America’s Next Drag Superstar. In other words, it’s The Apprentice with falsies.

I’m jealous beyond belief because, while I’m not suggesting going to a job interview resembling a drag queen is the key to employment success, I wish I had one-tenth the ability to do my make-up and hair, and was able to afford the fantastically stylish daytime attire I’ve seen some of the “ladies” wear on that program. While I’m in passable physical shape for woman of middle-age, any amount of time spent in front of a mirror with a table covered in foundation and eye shadow would only serve to make my face look like a circus clown, and I’m too lazy to learn how to correctly apply it now.

I suppose if I’m honest, I’ve run out of reasons to speculate why some potential employers haven’t made a hiring decision on me yet. On all of the important fronts, I have the background, the experience and the skills, so it must by process of elimination be my appearance; egads, that even sounds ridiculous as I write it. I should just stop speculating, stay busy and as my Mother is always telling me, “don’t overanalyze everything!” While I'm waiting, I should at least make an attempt to enjoy my enforced down-time, kick-back on the sofa and watch RuPaul’s Drag Race. Who knows? Maybe I can pick up some make-up pointers from my two favorite contestants, “Jujubee” and “Tyra Sanchez”.* Rationally I know it shouldn’t make any difference in the employment interview process, but it would make me feel a lot better.

* If any “girls” care to loan me an outfit or apply my makeup prior to my next interview, please write to me at lightsidenotes@gmail.com.

THE 80'S ARE BACK! GREAT.....I THINK.

When it comes to shopping for clothes and shoes, I'm a bit simple. I know what I like to wear, I know who sells it, I know which sizes of which items fit me best so on the internet I go, click-click-click and there. Clothes shopping done. In fact these days the only time I seem to go out to do any shopping at all is when an item just can't wait, like something for the house, or a new DVD I want. Since I haven't done any proper clothes shopping for ages, I really don't notice fashion trends, so I was completely surprised to recently hear two women talking about how fashions of the 80's are coming back in style.

I was very excited to hear this because the 80's was my favorite decade. For everyone there is a time in life where the world is all excitement, fun and new experiences and the 80's was my time for that. I lived in a new city, had a new career, new friends, fun aplenty, and since the city I'm talking about is Los Angeles, people had to look gooooood.

It was easy to look good in the 80's because, well, there was so much to look at. A quick check into my 80's wardrobe closet would have revealed at least 10 different electric colored jackets, blouses, slacks, skirts, oversized knits and leggings of varying prints and patterns, all interchangeable of course. Naturally, there were the matching leg warmers, matching floppy socks and matching shoes and boots. If I wasn't tidy, the bottom of my wardrobe might well have looked like an explosion at a paint factory. Then there were the obligatory hair accessories, plastic bracelets and ear rings (again, in all colors), ripped sweat-shirts a la Jennifer Beals in Flashdance and studded leather jewelry and fishnet gloves a la Madonna. Other than the designer brands, jeans were non grata, and flat shoes outside ankle boots were absolutely verboten. For anyone who wasn't fully grown in the 80's and can't quite comprehend the nature of 80's fashion, here's a tip: rent the movie Purple Rain. It'll become crystal clear to you, believe me.

I was well dressed in the 80's. My job required it, I enjoyed it and despite it looking a bit complicated, it was surprisingly comfortable as fashion goes. It could even be practical. Having a bad hair day? No need to worry, just apply some spiking hair gel or spray and, way-hey, a new style is born. So, would I wear these fashions today? Absolutely. Would it still feel comfortable? Yes, I think so. Could I get way with it? Ummm.....in a photo-shoot with ten or more 1980's models wearing the same fashions, probably, but on my own at a local Chinese take-out, probably not. I think I'd look like one of those school chaperones who gets up to dance with the kids.

Still, these fashions looked good then, they look good now and I'd like to wear them again. So, Christie Brinkley, Paulina Porizkova, Elle MacPherson et al, let's show the world that 80's fashions are fun whatever your age. We know. We dressed that way...in the 80's.