THE ROAD SIGNS THEY NEED A-CHANGING

In the United Kingdom, any driver not in possession of a full and complete "driving" license must have affixed to his/her vehicle, a square placard with a large red "L" on a white background. This sign must be placed on the outside of the vehicle, in such a way that other motorists can quickly identify the driver as being a "learner"or novice. While I don't agree with some things British (excessive speed cameras, Congestion Charges and Prime Minister Gordon Brown for example), this is a frankly excellent idea and needs to be adopted into law for motorists in the United States, and as quickly as possible, in my opinion.

In Huggins' World however, this system would involve several different levels of driver labeling. "L" for learner is a great start, but why stop there? I suggest anyone with say, more than one speeding ticket be required to display a tag emblazoned with with an "S" until such a time as any such tickets are wiped from the drivers record. Similarly, there could also be "R" for "reckless", and "U" for "unsafe vehicle". Such immediate visual identifiers would give the rest of us a somewhat fighting chance against irresponsible motorists on the roadways.

The apex of automobile labeling, if I had my way, would be a door panel-sized placard emblazoned with a flashing, fluorescent letter, but I haven't decided if it should be "M" for "moron", or "C" for "cretin"; I'm leaning toward "M" though because I suspect there's many a driver on the road who doesn't know the meaning of the word "cretin". This would be a special prize for all drivers who don't understand road courtesy, basic car control, or forgot everything the ever learned in in preparation for a drivers license examination.

This great idea came to me this morning, while making a quick drive to the local supermarket, I came upon a malfunctioning traffic light at a somewhat busy intersection. In other heavily congested places I've driven, this would not be a problem. In certain parts of Los Angeles, four-way stop signs are the norm, and London's many roundabouts mean that the common practice of yielding right-of-way to the driver on your right is as natural as operating your turn signal. Here, and in other places most probably, it means proceed at all deliberate speed and hope you don't get hit/hit anyone else on the way. Therefore, the driver of late model Mazda RX-7 who did not stop and nearly T-boned me and another driver approaching from the opposite direction this morning will be awarded the inaugural "M" placard for driving stupidity.

The placarding possibilities are endless; "T" for talks/texts, "DWD" for "dines while driving", "A" for "angry/aggressive", "AM" for "applies makeup", "TBTTPA" for "too busy talking to pay attention"; they're all valid. It's impossible for anyone to expect the police to regulate driver's follies but car labeling as I've suggested would, at least, give the rest of us on the road a better shot at getting to our destination safely. In fairness, if we fail to take heed of these obvious warnings, that automatically qualifies us for a Great, Big "M".