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Over the years I've managed to incorporate some of my favorite movie lines in everyday conversation, and this is one of those times. It comes from the Bond film Moonraker, where Bond-baddie Hugo Drax says of Agent 007, "you appear with the tedious inevitability of an unloved season". In this case, what's appearing with a tedious inevitability just happens to be...an unloved season. I hate Summer. I hate the heat, the humidity, the mosquitoes, amusement parks, men who wear sock with sandals and specially, Summer fashions for women.When it comes to summer attire, it's man's world. On the way to work? Don a pair of light weight dress pants, a good shirt and tie and Bob's your uncle and out the door. Home from work? Ditch the dress pants, shirt and tie, on with a pair of shorts and a tee shirt (or a polo, for the more posh amongst you), and voila, job done. In my experience a man's closet consists of the following: shirts, ties, belts, pants, boxers, shorts and socks, and from what men have said to me in the past, 'what else do we need"?
Well gentlemen, be glad you aren't a woman. A quick look through a ladies fashion mag or internet website will tell you we're expected to wear a bewildering array of styles and fashions requiring many more items of clothing to coordinate, whilst trying to stay as cool and comfortable as you and, more importantly, do it without breaking the bank (it's an unfortunate fact that those who earn the least amount of dosh have to shell out the most on a decent wardrobe).
Now, in relation to the average male closet, let's look at what a typical ladies "summer attire" closet may be expected to contain. If you don't know what some of these are gentlemen, don't worry, be happy.
BLOUSES: tunic, poncho, smock, camisole, duster, oxford, shell
SKIRTS: pleated, a-line, bias-cut, peasant, mini-, midi-, kilt
DRESSES: sun, jumper, sheath, blazer, shirt-waist, two-piece
SHOES: clog, sandal, pump, boot, flat, espadrille, sling-back
ACCESSORIES: scarves, bows, stockings, panties, knee-highs, panty-hose, garters, bra (dress and sport), nail polish, make-up, hair accessories, hand bags
I'm sure I'm forgetting some items, but I'm experiencing some slight dizziness simply listing these. While it may not be complete though, it's a good indication of the sexual inequality in the closet with regard to Summer attire, and is one of the primary reasons I hate Summer. The truth is girls, no matter how much money you spend, how many different accessories you buy and how hard you try to stay cool, you'll fail miserably. At the end of the day, you'll still be sweaty, wilted and out-of-pocket for dry-cleaning expenses. Meanwhile the gentlemen simply throw their shirts and socks in the washer and away they go.
Personally, I can't wait for the Fall season. That's when I go back to buying my fashion basics from the gentlemen's department.
