"THE AMAZING HUGGINI"

After smoking on-and-off for the past 30 years, I've finally decided it's high time I quit. The decision isn't based on any health considerations, but merely because of the fact the government has imposed such massive taxes on smoking products (even the cheapest cigarette brands are now over $4.50 per pack) that I see quitting as an act of defiance; one of the Little People stepping on the small toe of Big Government. Mind you, I've been thinking about quitting smoking for ages; it's the bit about actually doing it where I fall flat on my face. Nevertheless, I'm semi-serious this time, and I've been listening to a few ex-smoker friends advising me how best to quit. So far, I've been open to all suggestions but when a friend tried to refer me to a hypnotherapist for assistance, I passed on it. At first I wasn't sure why I wouldn't consider this option, I know hypnotherapy has been proven to be a very useful problem-solving tool and it was certainly effective in helping my friend stop smoking, but somehow it didn't seem a viable option for me.

But now, I think I may have found the reason for not seriously considering hypnotherapy. On one of my marathon house cleaning sessions that occurred during my vacation I found, forgotten and tucked away in between a large pile of paper, a yellowing and faded 11 x 17 diploma from 1985. It was from the very prestigious-sounding "Psycho Neurology Foundation / Hypno-Mind Science Church, Inc." (no, I am not making that up) and it acknowledged that I had successfully completed the required studies in the Dante Method of Hypnosis and was thereby registered as a Certified Hypnotherapist. It was even signed personally by Doctor Ronald Dante, PhD. just in case any autograph hounds care to get in touch.

Now, I had completely forgotten about this stunning academic achievement, but the sight of the shingle brought it all back to me. I attended the course, held in the Grand Ballroom of the historic Biltmore Hotel in Los Angeles at the insistence of my friend Donna, a New-Age enthusiast who was into crystals, past-life regression and all manner of Los Angeles-based weirdness going on in the 80's and she had somehow secured free tuition for us to attend the marathon three-day, fourteen hour-per-day course. To be honest, I don't remember much about the experience (perhaps I hypnotized myself into forgetting it), but I remember it was surprisingly interesting and fun, and I also remember being impressed that Dr Dante, who actually taught the course, was once married to screen legend Lana Turner. While I never considered taking hypnotherapy and further, Donna did and eventually had a small practice in Santa Barbara with several well-known show business clients, whose names she probably should have kept a to herself as opposed to telling me.

I suppose that whole Dante-esque experience is why I can't consider hypnotherapy as a smoking cessation aide. Rationally, I know there are many dedicated and highly-trained professionals who treat hypnotherapy as a serious study, but I can't help thinking about myself and Donna, who only attended a three-day course because it was free and we had some time on our hands, and both of whom now carry the title "Certified Hypnotherapist". With my luck I'd get a hypnotherapist with the same training as me, treating me.

My schooling may not be wasted though, because when I Googled Dr Ronald Dante for the purpose of this article, I discovered that he was also a night-club hypnotist in his spare time, back in the day when people actually enjoyed that sort of thing. I think that line of work is more to my liking, so if you see "The Amazing Huggini" advertised at your local venue, that will be me on stage, ready to hypnotize. If I'm not on stage you will probably find me somewhere outside, most likely smoking a cigarette.