POP GOES THE GOVERNMENT

It's been a bleak week in Washington. Forget the stagnant economy, stifling unemployment, the war in Iraq and increasing dissatisfaction with the Obama administration; this item is serious business.

Earlier in the week Councilwoman Mary Cheh proposed a tax in the District on sales of all sugary soda pop in order, she says, to help the City fight rampant obesity with the anticipated tax revenue, targeted at $16m, to be allocated at $6.5m for healthy school lunch programs, and $9.5m for anti-obesity programs. Personally, I think it's a great plan. According to the CDC, one in every five Washingtonians is "dangerously"overweight. Cheh states, "It's particularly dramatic among children." Referring to hypertension and diabetes, Ms Cheh says, "Doctors are telling us we're seeing all sorts of new ailments in children that we would normally see in adults." The proposed tax would be 1 cent per ounce of soda pop sold, which doesn't seem unrealistic, and the anticipated outcome would be a decrease in sales of obesity-contributing soda pop, and an increase in healthy school lunches and physical fitness.

Hang on though, enter the "Pop Police" in the form of Coca-Cola and Pepsi riding into a City Council meeting on Friday spewing anti-legislation nonsense such as, "Now is not the time to pass a regressive and discriminatory tax; it will push businesses out of the District". Thank you, Coca-Cola spokesman. Another statement in said meeting reported by The Washington Examiner was, "the tax will punish poor families from whom soft drinks are a cheap alternative."Oh dear, regression, discrimination, business fleeing the City in droves, and deprivation of the poor. Let the spin cycle begin.

My question is, where was all this righteous indignation when the PACT Act was signed into law without opposition earlier this year? Never heard of the P(revent) A(ll) C(igarette) T(rafficking) Act? In a nutshell, it prohibits the shipment of all tobacco products, including smokeless tobacco via the United States Postal Service. If you're not a smoker, it probably means nothing, but if, like me, you chose to smoke, it means that we can no longer purchase tobacco products online from a sovereign Native American government, thus circumventing the $3.75 tax per pack of cigarettes. It means that adults (and I do mean adults; these vendors do check) who have the cash, and are fully aware of the risks of smoking, have no alternative but to pay the exorbitant taxes imposed on tobacco. Obviously, my letter of protest to my Senator and Congressman had no effect on the outcome on the final vote.

So, why all the fuss over a 12 cent-per can soda pop tax? The amount is not excessive (the consumer would have to purchase over 30 cans of pop to equal the taxes I pay one one pack of cigarettes), the intent is good, there are healthy, inexpensive alternatives to soda pop, and it appears the tax revenue will be put to good and frankly necessary use. As always, the answer is revenue. Unfortunately, I think the D.C. Government may lose their battle against the soda pop giants, just as, in the case of the PACT Act, the Native Americans lost their battle against the United States government. Again.

UN-FAIR HOUSING

I'm afraid I'm going to be a bit irritable and politically incorrect this week, and you can blame it on my neighbor. Her name is Jennifer, but I call her the "Good Humor Lady". She always carries a keyring so chock full of keys it would make a building superintendent jealous and since she doesn't work she's in and out of her unit at all hours, playing a chorus of "Jingle Bells" as she walks down the lengthly corridor.

GHL greted me this morning as I was rushing off late to work and announced, "Have you heard? They're moving all of us to different units!" Not your normal "hello" mind, but then, you don't know Jennifer.

The "all of us" she was referring to meant the tenants living in my condominium complex under Section 8, the subsidized housing arrangement sponsored by my city of residence. In my 476-unit complex, approximately 25% of the units are owned/operated by the city and rented out at reduced rates to disadvantaged citizens.

GHL went on to tell me that the reason for the tenant movement was because the city was completely remodelling all of the Section 8 units in the complex, installing new cabinets, bathroom fittings, carpets, window treatments, the lot. She told me she had already seen one of the re-decorated units, described in detail the new countertops in the kitchen, and then she made the mistake of asking, "Isn't that great"? My reply was less then cordial and I answered "Yeah, its great for you ."

I'd like to think my ungracious attitude was because it was early and I was running late, or the fact Jennifer is annoying at the best of times, but I'm rather more ashamed to say, I'm angry. I'm angry that my neighbor, who can work but doesn't (I know this to be fact; she collects Social Security Disability and once told me she doesn't want to work if she doesn't have to) has a unit nicer than my own courtesy of the City, and is shortly going to get a better one. I'm angry that I have to pay for condo maintenance and she doesn't, courtesy of the City. I'm angry that her monthly rental is approximately 35% less than my mortgage payment, courtesy of the City, and I'm angry of the fact that, despite holding down two jobs, I couldn't possibly afford the home improvements she and the other Section 8 tenants are getting free, courtesy of the City. The icing on the cake is I get to pay the City, in the form of tax dollars, for all the anger I'm feeling.

Before I get bad mail about this, let me say that I know many of my Section 8 neighbors and I'm quite fond of a few of them; there's the man who lives down the hall, retired from Amtrak who suffers from diabetes. He always has a nice word to say and talks to my dog while she sits on my balcony waiting for me to come home; there's the elderly lady who used to live in the unit that GHL occupies. She was close to my late partner and me, and brought food over to me more than once after his death because she thought I wasn't taking care of myself properly. Then there's the wheelchair-bound lady who never seems to have a bad mood, and who made my Mother's day once by saying she thought Mom and I were sisters....

Hang on, maybe I've got this wrong. It's not Section 8 or the remodeling that I have a problem with at all. It's Jennifer the GHL, and people like her who work the System, take unfair advantage of it, and then remind the rest of us that it happens that makes me angry.

And the person I'm most angry with right now? Me, for letting it get to me in the first place. Rant over.