STROLLING DOWN MEMORY LANE....AT 55 MPH

For as long as I can remember, falling asleep has been difficult. Over the years I've employed a variety of methods to get the job done including prescription sleep aids, working a second job, staying up 'til all hours behaving raucously with friends, and reading the latest edition of The Wall Street Journal online. Each method has worked with varying degrees of success, but lately the simple task of sleep has become more elusive than ever.

I think I may be in good company because many of the things keeping me up nights are most likely shared by many; possible unemployment, financial instability, deadlines, health issues, the upcoming holiday season, and general concerns over the future are probably sending more than a few people to join me for a midnight read of the WSJ.

A few nights ago though, none of the usual sleep aids seemed to work and I again found myself pacing about the house at 1 am. So in absolute frustration, and with the feeling of the house closing in around me, I did something I haven't done in ages; I threw on some slightly grubby clothes, grabbed my drivers license, a few dollars and my keys, and went for a drive.

I used to do this quite a bit when I was younger, and that night I was reminded of how refreshing it is to leave the trappings of day-to-day life behind, albeit only briefly, driving about on the empty roads with only your own thoughts and whatever music is coming from the stereo system. That night my musical tastes were geared for what are now called "golden oldies" (I prefer to call them "timeless classics"), and perhaps because there weren't the usual daytime distractions, some of the tunes brought back instant memory flashes of similar drives many years ago.

The Spinners Games People Play came blasting out of the sound system, reminding me of a midnight drive when I worried how I was ever going to be able to afford the $95.00 monthly rent on my first apartment. Following not far behind on the playlist was Kenny Loggins' I'm Alright, a song that seemed to play continuously on my cross-country move to Los Angeles; a drive memorable not for the sights and adventure of the trip, but for the fact on that drive I worried how I was going to find a job, where I was going to live, and how I was going to eat... From Dionne Warwicke's Heartbreaker to Michael Jackson's Human Nature, it seemed no small coincidence that each song filling the car's interior had some connection with past midnight drives spent with good tunes and a chance to think through life's concerns.

This went on for about an hour, and with gas running low, and the thought of sleep at last not a scary thing, I headed home to the tune of Electric Light Orchestra's Mr Blue Sky, a song that's impossible to hear and not be happy. Then, when I finally pulled into the parking lot and turned off the CD it hit me: the worries and stresses that keep me awake nights now are the same worries and stresses that kept me awake nights then, and despite everything I thought could possibly go wrong with my life, I'm still here.

I don't think I'll wait so long to take another trip down memory lane at 55 MPH. With good music, empty roads and nothing to clutter your mind, it's easy to put things into perspective and remind yourself that, as confused and uncertain as things might seem at the moment, life is going to be just fine, after all.

IF THERE'S CASH FOR CLUNKERS, I'M A MILLIONAIRE.

As my many faithful readers (cough) will remember, last month I wrote about new cars and new car shopping (What's Wrong With Just Driving?) and in my continuing quest for automotive education, I've been reading up a bit on the government-sponsored stimulus package, the Car Allowance Rebate System (CARS). Real people like me call it Cash for Clunkers.

Without going into too much detail -- it is a government-sponsored plan, after all -- the Bill was introduced by the House and Senate as an incentive for consumers to purchase more fuel-efficient vehicles. I suspect getting people into a showroom to spend money had something to do with it as well, but the government won't tell you that. In the Bill, the new-car buyer receives a rebate provided their trade-in vehicle and purchase meet the following guidelines:

- the trade-in value of the used car is less than $4500
- the trade-in vehicle is less than 25 years old
- the trade-in is rated on the government website www.cars.gov as having a combined MPG of 18 MPG or less

If the trade-in vehicle fulfills these requirements and

- the new vehicle has a combined MPG rating of 22 or higher, the buyer receives $3500 or,
- the new vehicle gets a combined MPG of 10 over the MPG of the trade-in, the buyer receives $4500

The Bill calls for all "Clunkers" turned in to be hauled away as scrap, which has the environmentalists up in arms, but that's up to the talking heads in Washington to debate. Besides, who cares about the environment when someone waves $3500-$4500 under your nose?

Reading up on the plan got me thinking about all the ancient pre-owned cars in my life, and I came to the conclusion that if Cash for Clunkers had always been around, I could have made/saved a small fortune. Here, in order of purchase, is the Huggins inventory of Clunkers past.

1964 PLYMOUTH VALIANT - my favorite car of all, probably because it was the first. Bought for $75, we used to joke that the car was so indestructable, it could drive over a dumpster undamaged. Built before the days of undercoating, my foot went through the bodywork of the rear panel while I was kicking snow away from the tire one morning, but it still had four wheels and was warmer than the bus shelter. Sold it for $75.

1965 PLYMOUTH VALIANT - If a Valiant worked once, I figured it would work again. Painted a lovely gold color with only minor staining on the seats, this one even had a radio and a working heater.

1971 FORD PINTO HATCHBACK - What substance was I smoking when I bought this one? Lime green exterior with a forest green interior in lovely vinyl, it had the popular Landau roof that so many cars had those days. But it did look modern compared with the two Valiants and I was so anal about this car I dragged my stepdad to a junkyard because the badge was missing from the back. Finding a replacement was easy, there were a lot of Pinto's in the junkyard. I didn't learn my lesson though because my next car was a,

1979 FORD PINTO HATCHBACK - Yes, I can't get enough of a bad thing. To be honest, this was quite a good car. By 1979 Ford had fixed the Pinto's pesky exploding gas-tank problem and it never had a breakdown. This little car got me and everything I owned all the way from Washington DC to Los Angeles when I moved to L.A. in the 80's, and ran many, many miles after that with only regular maintenance. Why is it in the Clunker category then? It had a burnt-orange exterior and a light orange interior and it was.....a Pinto.

1983 TOYOTA COROLLA - Toyota's have a reputation for good quality, but they must have forgotten that when they made the second-hand one I bought. Rough handling, jerky transmission and an uncomfortable ride all 'round, I sold this to a dealer for cash (and with money out of pocket) just to get rid of it.

1982 VW RABBIT - A great little car this, but it really qualified as a clunker because it had a diesel engine and was incredibly awkward to shift gears. Being a diesel, it sounded like a truck, and when I moved back to Washington, I realized diesels + cold weather = bad news. It met it's end when the engine hydrolocked about 100 yards from the entrance to the Baltimore Harbor Tunnel.

And, the best clunker of 'em all,

1993 FORD FESTIVA - After the 1964 Valiant, my absolute favorite car. Fun, easy to drive, inexpensive to own, this car could navigate snow and ice almost as good as my current car, the Subaru Outback. My mechanic once told me that the engine on the Festiva would still be running long after the body rusted away. I hope the couple I foolishly sold it to are taking very good care of it. Why then is it a clunker? Cut and paste this link to find out:

http://www.atozautolights.com/images/AutoPhotos/FOFE8893.jpg

Mind you, these aren't all the cars I've owned, these are just the clunkers. So, President Obama, members of the House and Senate, please make Cash for Clunkers 25 years retroactive. I could pay off a lot of bills.

Or buy a restored Ford Festiva.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH JUST DRIVING?

The last time I bought a new car was in 1993 and it was the most basic of vehicles; a Ford Festiva. It was inexpensive, relatively comfortable on all but the longest of journeys, and reliable and easy to maintain; there wasn't much in it to break down. I subsequently inherited a 1998 Subaru Legacy Outback Limited. Not a car I would have bought myself, but very safe, very solid, and I can take it off-road if I ever wake up one morning and decide to lose my mind.



Despite the Subaru being in still very good condition, I've been thinking lately of buying a new car (the wisdom of making such a large purchase in today's economic crisis is the subject for another column....), so I've had a flip through some motoring magazines to do a little research.

Boy, was I surprised.

The last time I bought a car the options were fairly basic. Automatic vs. manual transmission, power steering, brakes, 2-door or 4-door, and of course the inevitable cassette or 8-track conundrum. Now, the list of optional extras available on some cars reads like an inventory list at Best Buy. The lists included pop-up touch screens with real-time traffic reports, iPod/MP3/Bluetooth connectivity, cameras in the rear bumper to help with navigation, telephone pre-wiring and aerial, overhead flip-down tv screens, rear-view mirrors with built-in LCD displays, andonandonandon.

Now, these are all nice toys to play with but the question is: what do they have to do with driving? Do I really need to spend money for a sat nav when I can read a map or print out a MapQuest route planner? The flip-down tv screen; honestly, does the average family spend so much time in the car that a TV and DVD player is essential to maintain domestic harmony? Rear bumper cameras and rear view mirror LCD displays could be eliminated by just, oh, I don't know....looking behind you? The iPod/MP3/Bluetooth ports; I suppose it may be handy if you're a passenger trying to drown out the nonsense being talked by the driver but other than that, what's its functionality? I can see a use for the mobile phone pre-wiring and aerial, but people who talk on the phone while driving annoy me, so it gets a mention here.

I suppose I'm a bit old-fashioned, but I enjoy driving for the pleasure of it. If I want to work, I go into the office or break out the laptop at home. If I want to watch a movie I sit on the sofa and watch. If I want to de-stress in the car I turn on the stereo or the CD player that's already in the car I have without any optional gizmos that require hooking up more doo-dads, and if I need to see what's behind me, I look.

So, does more toy make for a better drive? I don't think so. Discuss amongst yourselves but pull over to the side of the road first, please.